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The Value of Training
by Scott Turansky and
Joanne Miller
The word "discipline" used in the Bible is translated from the Hebrew
word "chanak." It means "to train." Training implies guidance to a
particular goal. Every day you're training your children to become
healthy responsible adults. Is it okay to get up and walk away in the
middle of a meal? Is it acceptable to leave the table without helping to
clean it up? Is it all right to eat without saying thank you to the one
who prepared the meal? How will kids learn what's appropriate if you
don't train them?
Unfortunately, as parents we get upset when our children need lots of
correction or when they can't seem to change right away. It is true that
some problems our children have seem to take longer to overcome than
others. Our response as parents is important. Our exasperation can
damage the relationship. Firmness is important but the harshness can do
more harm than good.
Kids make mistakes. Whether the errors are deliberate or accidental,
children need an appropriate way to think in order to get back on track.
Identify an issue you wish would change in one of your children. It
might be arguing whenever you give an instruction or complaining when
life doesn't go just right. Break the problem down and think of the
alternatives you wish your child could do or think. Talk about healthy
alternatives and look for positive ways to motivate your child to
maturity. You may have to use consequences to motivate change but don't
neglect the potential of praise and giving a child a vision for doing
what's right.
Most of all, be patient. Training takes time and implies lots of work.
You're a coach and your child is in training. Give your kids a vision
for living life on a different level and they will grow into some great
relating patterns.
For more on how to build a good Instruction Routine with your children,
order the book:
Good and Angry: Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your
Kids
About the authors
Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller are the authors of several popular and
helpful books on parenting including 'Say Goodbye to Whining,
Complaining and Bad Attitudes In You and Your Kids' and 'Good and
Angry'. If you'd like to receive regular parenting tips, just stop by
their website and sign up for their newsletter at:
www.effectiveparenting.org
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