|
|
Setting Boundaries With Teens
by Alyice Edrich
My son turned 14 this month! He is now 5 feet 9 inches tall and wears a
size 14 shoe. My daughter turned 10 this month. In her own words, "I
finally turned double digits!" How is it that our children grow up so
fast before our very eyes?
My mum, whom I call "Marmé," phoned to wish both kids a Happy Birthday.
When I got on the phone to speak with her, she said, "He sounds so grown
up." I wanted to shout, "NO! NO! He can't sound grownup! He's my
first-born. He's my baby. He isn't supposed to grow up!" Yet, that's
what children do. They grow up.
At the age of ten, you can still shelter your children from many of
life's harms, but once they hit fourteen, they begin to beg and demand
more freedom and more "grown up" responsibilities. But how do you handle
such grown up behavior from someone you still view as your baby?
I've been learning to let the ropes loosen on the less important issues
and hold tight to the ropes on more important issues.
For instance, my son can walk up to the front office (a 15 minute walk)
and play pool without a parent, but he cannot leave the compound without
us knowing where he is at all times. He can hang out with new friends,
but only if we get to meet the parents first. He can go with a friend to
the mall or some other activity as long as, yep, you guessed it. We get
to meet the parents.
But you know what else? We have to feel we can trust the parents our
children are with. Not all parents parent equally.
While I do not allow my children to play mature rated video games and
strictly monitor any R rated movies, other parents may not. While I
strictly forbid Satanic-type stuff in my home, other parents may find
Ouija boards and such to be mere child's play and allow those materials
in their homes. I know this may sound strict, but my children have
enough peer pressure and junk being fed into their minds on a daily
basis, it's my job to help them weed through it.
Yes, I know I cannot control every circumstance, nor can I protect my
children from every harm, but I also understand that my role as a parent
is very important and how I parent helps set standards for my children
when they are out of my sight. It is my responsibility as a parent to be
a parent first and a friend second.
About the author
Alyice Edrich is the author of several work-from-home e-books, including
one that allows parents to earn $50 in two hours without joining an MLM
or home party business. She is also the editor of The Dabbling Mum.com–
a national publication for BUSY parent
www.thedabblingmum.com
|
|
