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10 Ways to Make Your Family
Meetings Super Successful
by Michael Grose
“Not another meeting!” That tends to be the reaction from most kids when
they hear the M word mentioned. Meetings tend to be tolerated rather
than keenly anticipated in families.
Most research supports the notion that parents that use a meeting
process experience less sibling fighting and sibling rivalry, and get
far greater cooperation from their kids.
They effectively turn families from Me-centred to We-centred groups.
They are based on the management principle that children like a say in
how their family operates and that they are more likely to stick to
rules and decisions that they have had a say in making rather than those
imposed from above. In many ways, this is stating the bleeding obvious
but we need a process to make this happen. That is where family meetings
come in.
Following are ten basic keys for conducting family meetings:
1. They must be regular. Weekly or fortnightly meetings are ideal. If a
parent calls a meeting when he or she wants then meetings just become a
vehicle for mum or dad to get their point across rather than a means for
children to participate in family-life.
2. Start when at least one child is five years of age. Children need the
verbal and cognitive skills to participate. This varies but maybe around
five years of age seems to be a good age to start.
3. Have an agenda. All good meetings need a chairperson and an agenda.
Meetings are usually for one or more of four purposes:
a) Plan for family fun
b) Allocation of chores
c) Resolving conflicts between people
d) Discussion of family issues, procedures and routines.
Parents need to be the initial chairperson but share the job around as
children become more skilled.
4. Avoid overloading the agenda. You don’t have to slavishly work
through all these areas. Two or three items may be enough and avoid the
meeting from becoming a whinge session.
5. Have a talk sock. Have an object such as a sock or doll that the
children must hold if they are going to speak, which teaches them how to
take turns. The speaker, whether adult or child, must be holding the
special talk sock.
6. Start each meeting with encouragement. Parents can model this
initially by saying things like, “Thanks Marta for cleaning your toys
away after playing with them this week. It was great have the family
room so clean.” This helps set a positive tone and teaches kids how to
encourage.
7. Finish with a pleasant activity. A concluding game or a story will
help reinforce a meeting as an event to anticipate.
8. They must be real. While meetings should be fun they are not a game
you play with kids. You must be able to live with decisions that are
made so you must be realistic about what is discussed and decided upon.
9. Short and sharp, not long and dull. Don’t allow them to become bogged
down. Keep moving them along. I know some meetings that have only gone
for eight or nine minutes, but that’s fine if objectives were met.
10. It is the process that is important. Sometimes meetings break down
and decisions aren’t made as they have descended into chaos. That
happens but don’t abandon the concept if nothing concrete comes of a
meeting or two. It is the process of meeting and talking rather than the
outcomes that are important.
Regular family meetings are a powerful means of improving relationships,
reducing sibling rivalry and building cooperation between parents and
children. They provide the means for children to share and accept
responsibility, participate fully in family-life and work cooperatively
for the benefit of the group – their family.
Michael Grose is a popular parenting educator and parent coach. He is
the director of ParentingInc, the author of seven books for parents and
a popular presenter who speaks to audiences in Australia, Singapore and
the USA. For free courses and resources to help you raise happy kids and
resilient teenagers visit
http://www.parentingideas.com.au
Article Source:
http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Michael_Grose
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